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I WANT TO VOMIT!!
We didn't do one goddamn thing right today! 2 Goddamn hits!! WE WALKED ENOUGH TIMES TO CHOKE A DEAD RHINOCEROUS!!! AWW! AwAWW Jenna Aww! FUCK!
Return of Lou Frazier
Lou Frazier came back tonight and was probably our only damn bright spot beside Torey Lovullo's RBI double. Lou stole a base and hit a double of his own to put men on 2nd and 3rd in the 9th, at which point, the first base umpire fucked our dead ancestors with the Laz Diaz call of the century.
ERA DROP ALERTS? I'LL BE DAMNED!
Despite what seemed like a pretty shitty outing, Barry Johnson actually felt the warm glow of an ERA drop. Darryl Scott was key in relief and won player of the game honors which says something about our hitting tonight!
Johnson 5.36 -----> 4.67
Scott 5.72 -----> 5.47
GOOD JOB DARRYL!!!
MAGGIE!
I was the only member of the club with enough balls or panache to approach the fine young Miss Maggie (Fesh's gf). We didn't talk about anything really important, but she was really cool nonetheless and after the game she gave me a baseball, Kristin who? HAHAHAH! JUST KIDDING SEAN!!
SHIT! I HATE THIS! YOU THINK WE COULD BEAT A DECENT TEAM JUST THIS ONCE? THEN I'D GET OUT OF THE GAME AND BUY A FARM!
THE COLUMN THAT MAKES YOU WISH WE HAD MORE THAN TWO GODDAMN HITS!
Here's that popfly/strikeout Dave Lefchak (Magee IV) with his "Two Sluts!"
MY TWO CENTS by Dave Lefchak
June 16, 1999
Well, the Barons got hosed tonight by our new enemy, the second base umpire.
Jon Zuber was clearly safe at first base, and the umps just wanted to be big
pussies and go home. We will get revenge for this blatant case of stupidity.
Okay, Barons, 2 hits? 2 GOD DAMN HITS?!?!?!? That's all we got? Ah, who
cares, nobody was watching anyway.
Our starting pitching sucks again. Although Bob was a bit harsh in his
assessment of Barry Johnson's performance, he still needs to learn to pitch
against real teams.
The top five reasons we sucked tonight:
5 - Steve Carver
4 - 2 god damn hits!
3 - Barry Johnson
2 - Second base umpire (or lack thereof)
1 - FESH DIDNT PITCH!
Anyway, thats my two cents gang...... enjoy the FESHtival.
Click here to go back to other games past.
At least I didn't have my nose bitten off by a Saigon whore!
HEY MILDRED!
I am, I am, I said I'm not myself, I'm not dead and I'm not for sale!
